well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
