I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
