I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize