Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
