I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Someone came in the potted fern
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
