its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
