That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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