I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
