It's like a parade of train wrecks.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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