i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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