DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
