I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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