My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
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