Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
