did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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