my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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