You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
