My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize