i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
His nipple licking is glorious
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