YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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