Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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