Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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