I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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