I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im six kinds of drunk right now
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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