im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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