we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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