It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
