My cat gives me a boner
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
