if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
