i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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