she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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