I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Please don't give away my fajitas
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
