So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
