i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
