i would punch a child for taco bell
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
