That's intense
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
