one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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