All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dicks are not precious.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
