I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
