Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You made out with two different species that night
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
