your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
