Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
