What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
this will be a night to untag.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
