"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
