I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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