Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
