There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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