Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Damn victory sex feels great
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
