Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
