Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
