sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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