This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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