what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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