My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
