feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
