Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
