Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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