I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
