people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
