i don't like sucking hair
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
