Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
