ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
