Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
