Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
