I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
